Despite Winnipeg being the place of my birth and where I grew up this is now just a place I visit to see family (both of my blood and those whom I deem my-non blood family) and friends. It is always nice to be around those who want to see you as much as you do them. This trip was different for me, a turning point to how I deem to live my life moving forward. In knowing that those who love, and respect me I leave understanding more about myself and where I stand with them; the ones who care about me as I them.I have been through so much and I understand that this is not the end of it rather another chapter. A saying I loved earlier this week: Whenever you become empowered, you will be tested. - Caroline Myss. This has never been more true and it will continue to resonate with me each and every time I empower myself; I hope you know this too for your own journey!!
Back to the reason why and how I am moving forward. My immediate family and I are far from close, in fact to them I represent something to which they will never want to admit and are embarrassed by; the truth. Do not get me wrong here I can say unequivocally that it is not I who brought this embarrassment, I just merely spoke the truth. To them it is easier to live a lie than it is to deal with it, squash it and move on and move forward for the better. But hey like I said I did nothing but speak the truth and I am much better for it. I promised my grandfather and eldest uncle that I would not let this affect me anymore as I have so much more to me and my life. I said what I had to say to those who wanted to listen and I hope that they are able to keep to what they've agreed to, otherwise it is unfortunate for them that they will no longer be in my life.
I feel that this was my final test, and I had to be in it to realize that those who matter will always be there, being supportive, encouraging and will be able to give me the kick I need. For those that don't, it is a sad day for them to be able to speak such horrible things about me, about my family as the saying goes: You point a finger at someone there are three pointing right back at you! So for those who are so keen on pointing the finger of blame I say f'it here is hoping that you do something with your life than just exist.
For me right now I have a life that I have created and continue to do so for the better of myself. I will continue knowing that I am loved by my family, even though extended are still of my blood. For my immediate family I do not hate them, instead I pity them. For me I have some things to accomplish off my to-do list of life, more than just exist I intend to excel and succeed the best I know how.
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