When I take one step forward...

Sometimes my life feels a bit cliched, I know that there are moments where people are frustrated with change.  I took a big plunge last year, I did something I had been stalling on since I packed two suitcases and came to this city almost a decade ago.  Going back to school while working, was a choice I made, it scared the shit out of me but in my 'gut', my soul I knew that this was the choice for me.  Fail or not,  I had to try.  I have to admit my first year back was both challenging and rewarding, I had a focus, I made my own rules and asked for support and got what I needed.  Yet still the small things seem to cast a shadow on the path I blazed for myself. 

In looking back at what I accomplished, going back to university, with a full time work schedule, a 40% course load and on top of that taking on more responsibility at work. I did something beyond challenging and with all of this I passed my courses!!  I am so proud of this and yet why do I focus on the things I cannot control?  Why do I let it affect me in a way which makes all that I accomplished seem so trivial?  I feel like I am losing the grip on the goal of finishing my degree, because of the little things affecting me outside of school.  Really I should not and am doing my best to figure out a way to 'not sweat the small things' because they, do not fit into the scope of my goals, my dream and committment to myself. 

I will 'dig' myself out of this rut I let myself get into.  I am going to need to trust that it will all work out, that the small stuff will always be there and to just let it go.  There is no time or place for these things in the plan I have committed to.  I will need to find a way to re-engage myself with the things outside of school without taking the focus off of the promised I made to myself when I sent in the application and got accepted.  What I worry about more often than not, is the 'how'.  How am I going to make this happen?  How is this going to happen?  I need to trust in knowing that I will figure it out, probably stumble along the way, but this is what makes it endearing and human.

I had a few conversations with some dear friends of mine and what I have taken from them is a few nuggets I am going to try to use to keep me focused.  Writing down five things each day I am greatful for as well as, just keeping count in the time it will take me to get to compelte the goal of a honours degree!

So here goes, I have approximately 2 years of continuous study until I have completed my degree in sociology, two years fly by faster than I think it will, so eyes on the prize!

The five things I am greatlful for:

1. My cat greeting me when I came home from a long day
2. Talking to one of my closest friends to ground me
3. Being able to sit outside in the warm sun
4. Having an amazing doctor's office, in particular my doctors medical assistant, who is A-MAZ-ZING and is always helpful and kind to me when I have questions!
5. Falling in love with a Monet painting of a sunset and sharing that love

Here's to me working out of this rut.  One step in front of the other, here's to perpetual motion forward!


How do you re-engage yourself back into something you do and used to enjoy?  What are five things you are greatful for today? How do you get yourself out of a rut?

First week of a new regeim

So first week of workouts is done!  I wasn’t able to work out every day; however I did get to the gym a couple of times and went to yoga three times this week!  This week was exhausting and frustrating but I am glad that I have made a new dedication to making myself happy on the outside as I am on the inside.  This week made me realize, I am busy and that I need to communicate this more so that I can get the support and understanding from the same people who I support, so that I can continue to do what I am doing and find the balance.  Really I know that I will have to constantly challenge myself and that the first few days or even weeks might mean that I have to make adjustments, however the payoff is worth it! 

How do you challenge yourself?  Where do you get your support from?  How do you find balance to a busy, day, week, month or just in general life?

Yoga.....jury is still out

So in the midst of tying to keep on the path of eating right and fitting in workouts into my already busy schedule a friend and I decided to add Yoga to our workouts to keep us motivated in our journey's to our better feeling and looking selves.  Now I have not been the greatest fan of it as I am unable to clear my mind and truly focus on the task at hand, mainly due to the fact that there is sooo much going on in my mind that I have to keep up with.  Between what I need to do for work, school, home and then maintain some semblance of a social life when these essential activities in my life can be shufled around to fit this in I wonder if I can devote hours, months, and years to this journey why not 60 minutes dedicated to really giving this yoga a real chance?

I know I won't be some great kind of yogi, however being able to be flexible while detoxifying my body, quieting my mind and 'giving positive energy to my spirit' (as per my instructor from last nights class)....I'll keep you posted as to my progress on this.

What are your thoughts on yoga?  Is there a specific kind/practice you enjoy or not enjoy?  Do you prefer pilates or thai chi over yoga?  Where is your favourite studio to take classes at?

Pain is good...

So I did my first hot hatha yoga session on Saturday with my friend Nat!  I have to say I have never sweated like I did in that class, it was great, detoxifying and made me realize that I am not that flexible.  It made me realize that I need this challenge to get to that point of being able to go through a class like this and not be panting like I just ran five miles instead of doing a series of 10 up-ward dog, downward dog movements. 

Now that I have done my week of last suppers I am ready to get onto the train of hard work and pain are good things towards a better me!  Being able to make this change is not going to be easy but it is nice to know that I can share my journey with other friends who are on a very similar path of evolving into a better, healthier women!  So I have resovled to get to running before I get to work, so I must go pack my bag and lunch before I get some z's

Have you stuck with your new resolve/resolution for 2011?  If so how is it going?  If not, what has set you back and will get back on to the 'wagon'?  What else have you added to your workout routine/schedule?