Sooner said than done....well seems like someone is reading my mind

So I called my grandfather to wish him a Happy Easter and as usual the phone call never seems to go as I expect which is usually half the fun of speaking with him.  He usually seems to say something that will console me in a way that he is reading my mind.  It is times like this where I wish we had an unlimited amount of time to talk and discuss things about life both, past, present and future.  I know it is a wish that will never be fulfilled but until his end of days I will do my best in cherishing the time I do have with him.

Granted he is not the biggest talker on the phone, but if you keep the topics coming he is pretty good about sharing things with me.  Seems that this call we had alot to talk about, this time it was me telling him that I finally got to ride the train for the very first time.  He worked for VIA and I always thought when I was little that I would ride the train with him.  I imagined that we would have the most amazing time, him telling me stories about what he did, who he met and information about the stops we arrived at.  On our call today he shared how he would take the train back to New Glasgow every year since his father passed away in 1979.  This is something I never knew and I am so glad he shared that with me.  Its calls like this that I cherish and wish to have more of with. 

We also spoke about how things are always changing and then we discussed relationships between family members and I shared something with him that I wanted to get off my chest.  It was much easier than I thought it would be I think it had to do more with me thinking that I would get more push back from him.  In fact it was, what I thought quite the opposite, I think he knew that once I set my mind to something especially something like this that there was no use in trying to dissuade me from it.  Once again it makes me glad that I have experienced him from childhood into adulthood.  Truly it is like knowing two different people, despite being the same person.  Knowing him as a child was amazing although I didn't always understand things I knew that he loved me, loved spending time with me and only once did he ever say he was disappointed in me and I thought it was the end of the world.  Experiencing him as an adult is the same but different....yes an oxymoron but I am sure you get it!  I know as an adult he loves me, loves spending time with me and that we can discuss things that I never thought we would get a chance to talk about.  I guess this is the joy of knowing your grandfather from a child to an adult. 

Now if all conversations with family were this easy, I think-no I know that we would be discussing things all of the time.  Here’s to forward thinking!  Okay 10 more minutes to Sunday and to that I am signing off and heading to bed so I can face Monday and its hopefully mundane-ness!

I was gone but now I am back on the band wagon!...My reflections of where I have been

I have to admit that I fell of the wagon of blogging, between school, work and commuting the rest of my life was spent either sleeping or reading with the occasional time slot for laundry and groceries.  So now that my finals are over and I decided with much trepidation and the fact that the courses I wanted to take were full that I am taking the summer semester off to regroup, and recoup some much needed rest and reflection.  To this point I have some things to catch up on and others to deal with so I look forward much to this ‘free’ time to do them!

What I have learnt in the short and at times what felt as long eight months is that I can and did push myself to lengths I never thought possible.  To me I have accomplished something despite the odds, doubts and obstacles put in front of me.  In some ways it has made me feel a lot stronger, but most of all humble and in awe of the good people I have surrounded myself with.  Granted your friends are not true blood family, but my good friends sure made me feel that not having the blood connection was a moot point as they were there for me, cheering me on through my ups and downs of my first two semesters back at university.  My endless gratitude goes out to them, in every and any capacity they played in keeping me focused and spirits high.

Now what I get to do during my down time, is going to be fun, which is something I know I need to incorporate back into my life and continue during school too as that was missing a bit.  I look forward to a few road trips and just being able to clear off my PVR which I feel very connected to (smile).  On an even personal note I have been putting to the side a few things I know I need to deal with.  I had to put them aside for me to get through my first year back to studies so this is my acknowledgement of that.  I have learnt that what I have been socialized to in familial unit is very different once I set out on my own, and reconciling the two to make it work for me and where I am at in my life has been a bit of a struggle.  I know now that what I was socialized to is a foundation and from there I can change and make my own rules, while doing my best to respect the institution of family.  Of course there are those who will not and do not like what I do with the rules, however this is my declaration; you will need to respect my choices in order to be a part of my world! 

I am the master of my own happiness and to that I do what makes me feel good and in my own time.  I have learnt that the little things I get from the interactions from family are what truly makes me happy.  For instance my sister (who is younger than me) actually sent me a bbm and wished her big sister a happy Easter.  To some it may be something one expects from a sibling, but to me it means even more, I did not expect it, I appreciate it more than I think I can even explain in this blog.  Truly it made my day J

So I end on this note, that I am back on the blogging band wagon and hope to share more of the evolution of me(EM).

Hasta Luego!