A big step for me, and even bigger step for my ego...

Earlier this year I decided to submit my application to attend university as a mature student to finish my BA. I knew in taking this step I would have to face some facts about myself and also make some changes, all while facing the prospect of judgment and opposition. I was accepted into University in early June and I now face the last couple of weeks before this adventure begins. Talk about it being scary and exciting all at the same time!!! Today, I thought I'd share a bit of my thoughts on starting this journey.


I had to acknowledge that no matter what, if I was accepted or rejected (yet again) I would be determined to find another way to continue learning, be it in a traditional or non-traditional sense. While I was awaiting the acceptance/rejection letter I could not help but daydream at the possibilities. This almost felt like a choose your own adventure scenario;

o What would happen if I did get accepted?
o What would I do if I didn’t?
o Would I move or stay where I am at?
o How was I going to pay for all of this?
o Do I even have enough to be self sufficient?

The questions much like the possibilities were abundant, and I had to figure out the real answers to them, and fast! In trying to figure out the best possible outcome, I realized that this was a big change and one that I was almost scared to do. To be a student and while working full-time was something foreign to me. My fear was (and still is) that I would not be successful and even worse fail at one, or even both. However to acknowledge the possibility of failure meant that I had to acknowledge the even better possibility of succeeding, so I am doing my best to stick with that. I would not have been able to do this without some great sounding boards and the motivation of making a better me from this whole situation no matter what the letter would say! The wheels were put in motion and I was determined to learn at least one thing from this whole encounter.

The feared opposition and judgment of this new choice in my life I knew would come no matter what, the amount well is still to be determined. I erred on the side of optimistic caution in the hope that my workplace would work with me to accommodate my school schedule while being able to meet the business needs. In proposing it to my manager I was a nervous wreck as this represented a change that could easily be denied as it could be accepted. I was very fortunate that she was very excited for me and wanted to do what she could to make this a reality. I was and am very fortunate to have such champions in my corner! Needless to say the rest of senior management were a little freaked out at first hearing what I wanted to do, but they warmed to the idea and wanted to support and encourage me. As far as my fear of being judged and pushback, it is most like how you are not able to make everyone happy in whatever you do. My applying and ultimately being accepted, is something I worked hard for and despite anyone who did not feel happy or supportive, IMHO, they have a right to feel how they want to, however I have a right to not let it affect me and my goals.

That being written, I now count down the final days to my starting school and working while doing it! I have heard this: When you are scared at something you have set out to do, you know it is the right course of action. Here is (hopefully) to my impending success to the challenge I have set out for myself!!!

The Introduction of ME(EM)

It will always be the journey, not the destination which makes for great learnings and stories.  I hope to share this with you and hope that you are willing to do the same.  One thing I am always focused on is learning, be it one small change to enhance or change myself for the better or knowing 'what not to do' if the situation arrises every again. 

I figured that this is the perfect place to share the evolution of me, (which just happens to be my initials backwards) and my journey wherever it takes me!  I hope you enjoy my thoughts and welcome your comments and observatons, I am so excited!